Silly Posts

I Hate Mickey Mouse

This is why I hate Mickey Mouse (and I mean, I really, really hate him):

We’re watching Mickey’s Magical Christmas (oh, OF COURSE it’s *Mickey’s* Christmas, not Disney Friends’ Christmas, or whatever) and basically, it’s a series of short movies inside a movie, in which Mickey usually stars, always introduces the short films, and is just generally being MC for the entire production.

The purpose behind this all, we discover (or knew already, if we didn’t hate Mickey anyway and had been paying attention from the start) is that Donald Duck has no Christmas spirit… and nothing seems to be helping. Towards the end of the film, Mickey utters the statement, “I’ve tried everything I can; I guess Donald will just *never* have any Christmas Spirit”. And he walks outside to sulk on the roof.

Right. So, everyone who participated in the party, trying to cheer Donald up: they don’t get a mention. The actors in the short movies (all of whom are in the audience, because every character in either place is a standard Disney character) also get no mention.

Most importantly, the fact that Donald Duck CLEARLY has some sort of seasonal affective disorder or major depressive disorder (he can’t freakin’ smile in the middle of a Christmas party, surrounded by friends, well-lubricated with what could be cocoa but I’m guessing is mulled wine, knowing Donald) and Mickey is upset because HE couldn’t fix it.

WHAT A FUCKING NARCISSIST. Grow up, Mickey Mouse. You are not the star of Donald Duck’s mental health crisis.

But oh wait… you are.

FUCK YOU, MICKEY.

PS Maybe if you’d stop making Donald Duck or his family members (Scrooge McDuck, anyone?) the bad guy in *every* short film, he wouldn’t feel so down… remember the saying, Donald: “When you think you’re depressed, look around and make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes”.

And if you happen to be standing next to Mickey Mouse, the world’s greatest narcissist, the only mouse to ever have a god complex, the Kanye West of Disney animations, get the hell outta Dodge.

And thus concludes my rant for today.

2nd PS But one more thing, on the subject of Mickey… he keeps a dog, right? Every other animal in that world can speak and look after themselves just fine, but not Pluto… who is obviously an adult with special/complex needs, being kept ON A LEASH by Mickey, who treats him like an actual pet.

Mickey Mouse, you are a disgusting non-human being. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

3rd PS Have I ever mentioned, my kids LOVE Mickey Mouse? I mean, more Minnie, but… *sigh* I have nothing to say to that, except *sigh*

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